Walk of Life

There was an air of frenetic activity as Members gathered in the Sutton SoccerDome Studio on Wednesday evening With Les Meldrew otherwise engaged Cockney Rebel stepped into the breach to relieve cash paying members of their hard earned ….

The Krays stood guard in the shadows to endure everything went blindingly well It is possible in the excited countdown that the twins were counted in In piece of pure comedic gold Two new members swelled our ranks But not just two newbies oh no

The Club’s first twins (genuine) appeared having signed the WFA International clearance papers in time to have photos taken holding scarves shaking hands with El Presidente in front of a collage of Club sponsors Dave and Paul Drewett, quickly identified as the Chuckle Brothers, were assigned places in the outdoor squads for the session

Read on dear reader

The Innuendos for Wednesday started off with a bit of confusion. Those 18 identified players upstairs had, by the time we got to the gym been reduced to just 16. Eventually it appears one no-show and a bit of double counting (The Krays?) were to blame, said no one at all!

So we settled for two teams of 6 (Yellow & Red) and just 4 White, with White using two guest players from whichever team wasn't playing.

Yellow - Phil the Power, Citeh Geoff, Robbie, Lord Rainford, Steve Carine and Neil coach

Red - Andy Man(anger), Dave Bates, Grav, Enoch, Steve Honeyman and Lee Thomo

White - Gonzalo, Ray, Kenny Nolan and Harry the Hatchet

First up, Yellow beat Red 1-0 in what became a feature of all the games. Some good football, plenty of chances plus a teenzy-bit of offending giving Ref Chopper a chance to exercise his whistle. Happily Lord Rainford’s Butler reported no real dissent, just some disappointed glances towards our redoubtable arbiter. The only goal scorer was Phil but we do have to note that if Steve Honeyman keeps performing in goal like that he might be asked to don the gloves when it comes to WFA National Cup games! (If he doesn’t sabotage his growing reputation in the games ahead)

The White and borrowed Reds put Yellow firmly back in their place with a 2-1 victory, which should have been 1-1 but for a horrendous back pass by Lord Rainford gifted Kenny the chance to make it 2-0 after Gonzalo had blasted a shot into the top corner for the opening goal. But getting one back was the least Yellow deserved in a very even game and but I am sorry to say my memory can't drag out who got that goal back, and my modest team mates have remained silent on the matter.

White now borrowed a couple of Greens to continue their winning run with a 2-0 victory over Red. Sad to report that might not have been the final score if Red keepers hadn't committed the cardinal sin of passing the ball down the middle. One false move and 'bang' ball in back of net. And sadly it was two false moves…Pass it out to your fullbacks folks, as we have all previously learnt at the knee of our guide and mentor, Andy Manager.

The beneficiary of these keeper howlers was, inevitably, Gonzalo and I am beginning to wonder whether the club needs to set up some sort of handicap committee to give the rest of us a chance. Perhaps blindfold him or make him carry two stone overweight like the gee-gees at Haydock Park.

Yellows then took on Red in a repeat of the firstl match. 0-0 tells you nothing about a game of chances, saves and near misses. Entertaining stuff.

A final game with some more changes (people leaving early to catch up with FA Cup on the TV?) was a mixture of Red & Green (peppers?) against White & Red (Deck chairs?) It was 1-0 to the Beach furniture and Yes, he DID score again!

An enjoyable hour soon over, matches played in food spirit, congratulations and 'well played' all round and thanks to our firm but fair referee. Can't wait until next time.

With The Innards hanging out in the white heat of the SoccerDome there was a sense of ‘what do we do with the leftovers? Oh they’ll sort something out and we quickly settled on just one game featuring all 18 on the AstroTurf steppes

The teams selected were;

Orange - Tom Derby, Cockney Rebel, Steve Angry, Chris 4G, Willo, Haggis Deano, Dave Chuckle and Joe the Ghost

Blue - Michelle, Martin Mc, Eamon, Neil Stretch, Jeff Betty, Nigel Little John, Daz and Paul Chuckle

Orange employed a strike partnership with Haggis and Joe hugging the area over-lapping their opponents keeper Referee El Pres’ lay down an early marker with several players reminded that running was not going to tolerated Orange despite their remote strike force settled best with Dave Chuckle quickly fitting in to their rearguard alongside Willo and Cockney Rebel Deano fired an early warning shot just wide as Blue struggled in their defensive third with erratic positional play adding to their self destructiveness

Steve Angry enjoyed his tussles in the midfield, matching Daz who was at the heart of most Blue moves Jeff Betty kept to his calm link-up play style with Eamon offering his usual hustle But Blue snatched at chances in the final third whilst Orange crafted the better chances

It was Steve Angry who claimed the first goal of the night picking up a wayward clearance to power home The irony was this was his first power effort, having tried to place a couple of earlier strikes without success 1-0 to Orange with 15 minutes gone

Haggis and Joe were unable to hit back when presented with fairly straightforward chances Play elapsed with Blue pressing for an equaliser

The second half opened with Daz testing the Orange keeper Chris 4G with a venomous shot that was cleared via his left foot Debutant Paul Chuckle had suffered an early leg muscle strain and spent most of the rest of the night as Blue keeper Orange ensured he was kept busy at times when their calmer more controlled style created chances for Deano, Steve Angry and Tom Derby

Daz found reward for a feisty performance with a good goal that found the bottom corner 1-1 with plenty of time remaining

The winning goal came just 4 minutes from the end with Deano demonstrating a fine touch, turn and finish to give Orange the lead their greater possession probably deserved There was a drizzly finish to play with both teams trading chances The final result was 2-1 to Orange both teams playing spells of very high quality football

Another of our recent recruits has quickly settled into the fabric of the Club, with some impressive displays to go with his illustrious Nick name Harry the Hatchet Williams (no relation to Martin Chopper Williams) started his Open Age career at just 15 Originally a defender Harry flitted across the back line, though he wasn’t keen on centre back (head like a Sheriff’s badge) He spent a good deal of his career with Sunday league team The Holt but played Saturday football with Prescott Rangers & Celtic (long way from Glasgow) Club legend Alain McKie was his most impressive opponent (but they were firm friends indeed Harry was Alain’s Best Man) An appearance at the Portuguese Algarve International WF Over 60s Tournament is possibly the highlight of his career Harry played as Keeper in the Final and saved 3 penalties in the shoot out only to end up as a Runner Up

There’ll be more player profiles in the week’s ahead with the occasional Blog thrown in to spice up your life

Walk Of Life* - Dire Straits