Backfield in Motion*

SHWFC has grown mightily since those early Wednesday sessions at the Beacon in deepest darkest St Helens This weekend we break new ground with our first non-footballing activity Walking Football is not the elderly relative of the game we watch each week on our screens but speaking of elderly relative ...Saturday sees our first foray into the game known as Crown Green Bowls

Haydock Cricket Club will host our first outing and to help those of us unfamiliar with Haydock (or Yicker as it pronounced in these parts) we've splashed out on a handy cut out and keep guide* for visitors to Yickertown

Some handy vocabulary

Tellins - St Helens

Merte - friend or chum

Bait - food (no me neither)

Split and Chips - Three Course Banquet

Have yer bint - Is this your first time here?

Paint - a measure of beer

Ah think we need a measure - VAR

Yerl be under the clock - We might have a problem

Put wood int hole - Terrific draft in here

Yer ded jammy - Oh well played old chap

For those reading this handy guide* on a tablet, phone or laptop please do not attempt to use scissors on your device

We do hope the members will get down to Yicker and have a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon Our thanks to Coach Davies for his organisation and Social Team Messrs Deggs and Rebel (C) for pushing the event

And so to matters footballing for Wednesday night at Sutton remains our midweek go to

24 players were put through the mildest of warm up by Clarkie (Gaz) El Presidente still basking in the glow of his weekend exertions provided his usual refereeing expertise

The teams selected were;

Pink - Clarkie, Haggis, Citeh Geoff, Mark Davies (No Relation), Mike Ox and Deano

White - Lee Thompson (debutant) Chris 4G, Joe the Ghost, Les, Tom Stretch and Cockney Rebel

Yellow - Gonzalo, Sharon, Vicar of Dibley, Coach, Dave Babylon and Steve Honeyman

Blue - Norman Ball, Disco Deggs, Phil, Lord Rainford, Toney and Dave Bates

The Gonzalo grabbed the night's opening goal with a firm drive that eluded Lord Rainford's grasp Minutes later the afore mentioned Member of the Upper House earned his revenge with a peach of a through pass that enabled Phil to pick his spot 1-1

Meanwhile on the adjacent pitch play took on a more comic dimension with Disco Deggs (complete with new white boots) employing his deadly big toe with usual wayward results Tony wandered off his pitch to find space on the other pitch to bewilderment of his team mates The game edged back and forth with both teams searching for a goal for their work 0-0

Gonzalo and the Vicar or Dibley added two more for Yellow before Steve Honeyman steered his chance home 4-1 to Yellow in a clinical exercise of passing and movement.

On the pitch next door Mike Ox was a constant threat for the Pink his powerful surges from midfield paying off with a smart strike, following a spell of pressure with the Ox scoring both goals with the Pink 2-0 victors, not before Clarkie put his fingers where he shouldn’t (in the path of goal bound Exocet obviously), early reports are they are so badly bruised he had to use the other hand to hold his pint.

On a hot and humid night there were rehydration breaks with the added bonus of turning the teams around to level out the affect of the fierce sun shining from the Far End Forget the political shinanigans, that is true 'leveling up'

The half way point of the session saw the 2 winning teams pitted against each other for the glory of the night's top team Whilst the losers battled to avoid a wooden spoon

Yellow roared into an early lead with Gonzalo whipping a ball in from wide out on the right flank. The contest between powerhouses Dibly (V) and Ox (M) was a highlight of the game Both pushed the boundaries of pace and power but it was a sporting contest and great to watch A spell of pressure with Pink claiming repeat corners that stretched Yellow's defensive strengths. Gaz then shuck off his hand injury to hit a well placed equaliser. Mark hit a shot a little too straight and Steve Honeyman was able to clear for a corner Moments later Mark spurned 2 further chances and the feeling that Yellow could hold out rose dramatically Gonzalo hit a post before claiming another goal 2-1 to Yellow The ball had moved swiftly from the back where Dave Bates was a solid performer to Gonzalo then on the Vicar who slipped his pass back for Gonzalo to hammer home Deano raised Pink hopes with a self created goal He moved the ball right before lashing a goal across the face of goal 2-2 Yellow again rode their luck but shrewdly employed Sharon (who again was excellent all evening) in a slightly deeper role Yellow passed and moved with devastating accuracy and were rewarded with the clinching goal 3-1 Sharon wrapping up a well deserved unbeaten performance for Yellow

White were victorious in the Wooden Spoon decider by some distance Goals by Tom Stretch grabbed a brace, including a 'have a go Tom' effort that flew into the net Joe 'he's the man' claimed his side's opener but was thwarted by the Referee's Acme Thunderer as the ball lopped into the top corner (too high the explanation) Lee Thompson marked his debut with a strike set up by a crafty Cockney pass Cockney Rebel claimed his usual goal with a smart finish Disco Deggs claimed a goal when the ball struck his backside and deflected beyond the keeper Norman Ball found the net for Blue with a well taken goal But it couldn't prevent White winning a one sided game by 5 goals to 1

The Boot Room session moved al fresco with a capacity crowd (with Phil adding to the usual crew) As usual the discussions diagnosed the night's action and looked forward to the Yicker Bowls Event

There's never been a better time to be a SHWFC Member and we get to do it all over again next week

Backfield in Motion* - Mel and Tim